I’m not wont to post anything up on my blog about pop culture but I’ll make an exception for now. JJ Abrams the scam artist… Is anyone sick of being the pawn for this man’s venture into great marketing experiments? I don’t watch Lost for the same reason I don’t like watching commercials – it’s a product that keeps going and going and going with the aim of luring you into something you think you need. I’m sure it’s a great show. I’ve heard all about it from my friends but here’s another spin to the whole Lost extravaganza (pun intended) – Cloverfield.

Today, JJ Abrams – entertainment’s most dangerous man – announced on Opie and Anthony that the movie is somehow tied into Lost (insert more “Lost” puns and jokes here).

This reminds me of the movie A Christmas Story in which Ralphie listens eagerly to a show that reveals pieces of a code that he wants to solve. Not just wants to but is obsessed with completing this task just like a crack head becomes hungry for the glass pipe. Like Ralphie, we as the audience wait the whole fuckin’ movie just to find out that the words become “Drink Your Ovaltine” and just like Ralphie we’re severely disappointed.

This is much like JJ Abrams’s trick on our consumption obsessed society. Are you ready to see JJ Abrams pointing at peanut butter in a grocery store and telling the people perusing the aisles that it has something to do with Lost? Or how about Captain Crunch? Sounds crazy to you? Go to www.slusho.jp and you’ll find that he’s all ready got that covered – substitute peanut butter for a slushie type product.

Anyone at this moment can become an agent of JJ Abrams and his magic show. Last week, I pranked a friend and told him that I had seen Cloverfield all ready (which was a lie) and that it was somehow tied into Hook. I gave him a clue, which was  a quote made by Tinkerbell: “If you can’t imagine yourself being Peter Pan, you won’t be Peter Pan, so eat up.”

What happened? He ate it up and tried to solve the puzzle only to discover that at the end the monster looked like… well I can’t repeat what website he went on to find the monster because it was a web site that had something to do with gay porn and really bad things. A mean prank on my part but I realized how easy it is to throw people completely off into a dangerous road of obsession in which it becomes imaginable for for someone to throw their grandmother down a flight of stairs for knowledge of what Lost or Cloverfield (now both) is really about or maybe just a hint. Just a hint, man. One hint. That’s it.

I’m not anti-JJ Abrams or Lost or Cloverfield. In fact, you’ll probably find me in line to see Cloverfield this weekend. I’m just venting because it seems like the Truman Show.  We’ve all become characters in the biggest TV show ever created and which JJ Abrams is its only audience. I am for quality television and I just hope that this man gets it right in the end. Either way… even if it’s a trick – it’s fucking brilliant. Scary brilliant.

P.S. How do you know that this blog isn’t associated with Lost or Cloverfield or JJ Abrams in any way? Is it? Is it not? You’ll never know.